Cobwebs from an Empty Skull — A Reader’s Guide

Fables of Zambri, the Parsee

The first section, 'Fables of Zambri, the Parsee,' presents a series of brief moral tales featuring a Persian nobleman and an oyster, among other characters. In the opening fable, the nobleman holds an oyster by its beard and delivers a mock-apology before swallowing it: 'You must try to forgive me for what I am about to do; and you might as well set about it at once, for you haven't much time.' The oyster replies with equal politeness, 'It affords me genuine pleasure to comfort the parentless.' This exchange establishes a pattern of absurdly courteous dialogue that undercuts any genuine moral weight. The fables appear to invert the traditional Aesopian form: instead of a clear lesson, they offer a playful, almost nihilistic logic where the predator and prey exchange pleasantries. The setting—ancient Persia—is merely a decorative frame for Bierce's verbal games.

Brief Seasons of Intellectual Dissipation

This middle section, 'Brief Seasons of Intellectual Dissipation,' consists of short, epigrammatic pieces that seem to be the 'wisdom' mentioned in the preface. The title itself suggests a wry admission of frivolity. While the excerpts do not include examples from this section, its placement between the fables and the tales implies a structural role: it serves as a bridge, shifting from the compressed moral allegory of the fables to the longer, more narrative-driven tales. The phrase 'intellectual dissipation' hints at a tone of mock-serious reflection, possibly parodying the aphoristic tradition of La Rochefoucauld or the maxims of the Enlightenment. Readers may find that this section functions as a kind of palate cleanser, offering concentrated doses of Bierce's cynicism before the more expansive stories that follow.

Divers Tales: Comic Bargains and Verbal Jousts

The 'Divers Tales' section contains twenty-eight stories, many of which revolve around trickery, misunderstanding, and dialect humor. In one tale, Joseph Garvey (called 'Yo') outwits a Dutch miller named Hans through a series of verbal loopholes. Hans speaks in a thick German accent—'Py donner! Dot Yo Garfey bees a geen, shmard yockey'—while Joseph uses legalistic reasoning to retain both the donkeys and the wheat. The humor depends on the reader's ability to follow the logical twists: Joseph claims that since the wheat was always Hans's, and the donkeys were always Hans's, nothing has changed. Hans, after scratching his head, agrees. This story exemplifies Bierce's interest in language as a tool of deception, a theme that recurs throughout the collection. The setting is rustic, with millstones and pastures, but the focus is on the verbal sparring rather than on any detailed landscape.

Divers Tales: Parody of Exploration Narratives

Another tale, 'Dr. Deadwood, I Presume,' parodies the African exploration genre popularized by Henry Morton Stanley. The narrator, Shandy, is sent by a newspaper proprietor's son to find a missing Dr. Deadwood. Shandy's preparations are absurdly domestic: he supplies himself with 'such luxuries as were absolutely necessary,' then retires to his lodgings, where he interprets a sheet of foolscap and a bottle of ink as symbols of the 'unexplored interior of Africa.' The parody is explicit: 'Now began the most arduous undertaking mentioned in the “York ——,” I mean in history.' Bierce mocks the grandiosity of exploration narratives by reducing them to a writer's desk-bound imagination. The tale also nods to Laurence Sterne's A Sentimental Journey through the narrator's name, Shandy, and the opening line: 'My name is Shandy, and this is the record of my Sentimental Journey.' This intertextual reference adds a layer of literary parody to the already satirical premise.

Readers approaching Cobwebs from an Empty Skull should expect a work that prizes wit over plot and verbal ingenuity over character development. The book's structure—fables, aphorisms, tales—invites dipping in and out rather than linear reading. Bierce's early style is already recognizably his own: cool, ironic, and fond of turning expectations inside out. Those familiar with his later The Devil's Dictionary will find here a prototype of his method, though in a more diffuse and playful form. The engravings by the Dalziel brothers add a visual dimension that complements the text's mock-serious tone.

Reading Bierce’s preface, where he grins at his own unappreciated wit, I felt that old, patient shrug of the solitary scribbler. It reminded me, oddly, of another quiet voyage—a temperance cruise on a dry ship, all cheerful absurdity and no applause. That same gentle, defiant humor hums beneath The Log of the Water Wagon; or, The Cruise of the Good Ship "Lithia" — Story, Setting & Ideas, like a familiar tune half-remembered.